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When it rains, it pours

May 24, 2011

In 24 hours, I went from knowing I had 1.5 months left in my apartment, to 2 weeks left, to 6 days.

The last week has been a whirlwind of uncertainty and surprises, but ultimately I have come to realize although good things happen to good people, unfortunate things can also occur at the same exact moment. While researching ways to get myself abroad, I came across a summer fellowship program where graduate instructors teach a handful of indigenous African languages in a language institute. That was last Monday. On Tuesday, I made up my mind to take advantage of the opportunity, no matter the cost. I spent the majority of Tuesday afternoon contacting individual institutions inquiring about the availability of remaining fellowships. On Thursday, I learned the lone student who registered apart of the language class that had my interest dropped out, and as a result they weren’t certain the instructor would teach. Friday afternoon, I receive an email saying: ” We have just confirmed that we will have an additional fellowship for the summer and would like to offer you a fellowship if you can confirm that you will attend, so we can finalize arrangements with the instructor”. Praise the Lord! As I read the email at work, my throat closed up. Trying not to hyperventilate, I re-read the email to make sure my eyes were doing its job, and quickly responded accepting the fellowship position. In my mind, I calculated I had roughly 2 weeks before I had to leave and began plotting my moving strategy.

Friday evening, I called home to share the good news and sadly learned my grandfather had slipped into a coma earlier that morning. Saturday morning, he had passed on. Now instead of two weeks, I’d have 6 days to pack up and get myself home.

Although I am not afraid of death, and wholeheartedly believe his transition means no more suffering, death still sucks. Death comes at its own time, irregardless of your personal plans. I am not sad for death, I am only sad for the reality that I will no longer see him. No longer will I rush and get the daily newspaper for him to read. To hear him sing along to old Soca songs. And even with death, I am the most sad for my grandmother. Death at this time reminds me of my own humanity and morality. Death reminds me to just stop. And breathe.

♥ Chinye

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. May 24, 2011 11:40 pm

    i am so very sorry for the sudden loss of your grandfather. i admire the outlook you have on the situation and on death itself (is that weird to say?).

    when you are up for it i would love to hear more about this fellowship – what country is it in?

    • May 28, 2011 9:24 am

      thank you so much for the condolences. my gpa battled sickness for the last two years, and i think his passing was harder on the fam than it was on him. it’s just better that he’s no longer in pain.

      i definitely plan on doing a whole post on the fellowship, once the dust settles. oh how i wish it were abroad, it’s just in the states. thanks so much for stopping by!

  2. Mabel permalink
    May 27, 2011 11:39 am

    Soo sorry for your loss. It’s great you are remaining humble and positive in spite of the tight times….

    I cosign with Kay about hearing about the fellowship. Is it SCALI? good luck packing, and coping.

    • May 28, 2011 9:28 am

      thanks mabel. i am truly not sad for death, the hard part is watching my family hurt more for the departed. i am finalizing some last minute details with the fellowship, and as soon as things are definitive, i will be here to share all about it. thanks so much for stopping by!

  3. June 2, 2011 10:10 am

    I truly admire your perspective while grieving, it’s certainly something many people struggle with. So sorry for your loss, but know you’ll be all the more stronger in the future;)

  4. June 13, 2011 11:29 am

    My condolences, I am with Chai on my admiration of how your perspective while grieving. What language will you be teaching? Igbo?

  5. June 13, 2011 11:40 am

    I meant “of your perspective while grieving”

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